I went to a bar on Saturday night. And I had a glass of wine. (Who am I?) And I was surrounded by a (far too large) crowd of people who were (presumably) looking for that ‘special someone’ as they sipped their skinny martinis and downed their craft IPAs. Needless to say, I didn’t stay long, but hey – I went. #college. Am I doing this right?

And if I had a dime for every face I saw painted with possibility, as if to say, ‘Are you the one?’ I would literally be out of college tuition debt.

Everywhere I turn, people are intensely searching for their perfect significant other. And more often than not, this never-ending search ends in heartbreak, heartache and a collection of miserable mistakes (those 2am calls never end well, trust me). So, if actively looking for ‘the one’ doesn’t work, then why do we try so hard?

Why don’t we S T O P?

We’re so busy fishing for ‘the one’ that we forget that we’re the catch. We have to stop looking and start being – being the one that someone’s looking for. We forget how valuable we are; we forget that whomever it is that we’re looking for, they have to deserve us, and they have to work damn hard to prove that they do. And in your case? That means they better be pretty darn great, because you absolutely are.

We need to treat ourselves as if we’re the ones being sought after, not the ones seeking. We need to love ourselves the way that we hope someone will someday love us. And we need to be happy and proud of who we are, far before we can bring that happiness and confidence to a relationship.

There’s such an unnecessary stigma that’s associated with being single. You’re alone, you’re the odd (wo)man out, and you’re (always) the ultimate third wheel (or 5th if you’rereally lucky). But this is the time of our lives when we can go anywhere, do anything – no strings attached. Why are we constantly shying away from this incredibly liberating opportunity instead of embracing it and making the most of it? There will never be a time quite like now, and there will never be opportunities quite like the ones you currently have within your reach.

So every time you wish that you could find someone to hold tight, try to shift your mindset. Hope that someone finds you and holds you tight – because you’re the most valuable piece of love and grace that anyone could be blessed with. And you have better things to do than waste your time looking for people who probably don’t deserve you. So grab your girls (or boys), have a drink (or two) (or three), and continue to live fiercely and love endlessly. Someday, that perfect prince(ss) will hook you – I promise. But until then, just keep swimming.

Cheers to you, the biggest fish in the sea.